i remember first hearing this word in religion class in 1995. i was in fifth grade at sacred heart school in brockton, mass. i was the only jewish girl and i was the only one in the class, to my knowledge, that didn’t have a nuclear family. religion and family life classes overlapped and we were taught that families were made up of a mom, a dad and kids. i didn’t have that. it was clear to me that i was an outsider, x2. when i was called on to read paragraphs aloud, i could feel myself shake, my classmate’s eyes haunting over my shoulders, whispering you’re faking, you’re lying. that old catholic school guilt. up until this one day, when we got a new kookie teacher, with new lesson plans.
my parents were divorced before i was born. i wasn’t seeing my dad on weekends anymore because he and my mom were fighting over money, and my mom was unstable and addicted to drugs at the time, so i lived with my grandmother. agape held such deep meaning in my heart. i could really relate - i could really feel it. agape. of course! something bigger than love, bigger than acceptance for what was my life at that time. agape. i had that. for my parents who fell short, my grandmother who tried so hard to provide a “normal childhood” for me and for my brother, my aunts and uncles. agape. yes. i can feel it in my bones. i hadn’t realized at eleven years old that deep knowing was my soul saying yes, this.
somewhere along my spiritual journey, i realized this is why i’m here, to share this kind of love through listening, presence, offering my self to others in need. i hadn’t realized my struggles would turn into triumphs and that my tough upbringing would offer me such resilience, ultimately making me a stronger lover in every sense of the word.
in this new year ahead, there is no more living small. i want to show you how to heal your body from the inside out and share ways you can learn to love yourself unconditionally through your hard times, be it physically, emotionally, spiritually. we all need someone. that someone has always been looking at you in the mirror. let’s re-connect, back to her. this world needs way more love. and it starts with finding agape for yourself.